Sunday, February 26, 2006

The Fantastic Four...Not !

This isn't actually a bad date, but a series of bad-dates-that-never-happened...and it goes to show how hard it is out there these days!
After taking a year off from the dating scene to re-prioritize my life, I began the New Year ready to "get back out there." The night before New Year's Eve, I stopped in the local haunt (read: dive bar) to play a little pool. A very handsome older gentleman approached me with this: "What are YOU doing in a place like this? You look like you should be behind the wheel of a Mercedes." Wink, wink. After a long night of drinks and conversation, we exchanged numbers and planned on going out to dinner later in the week.
New Years' Eve: at a club, I met the most handsome guy, who was from Ireland, not far from where my ancestors are from. Same thing-drinks, convo, dinner plans are made. Cool. Two dates after the drought.
New Year's Day: partying up a storm in the middle of the street with about 500 people, I see this man looking at me. I almost fell over, he was so hot. Long story short, we spent the whole day together and I was instantaneously in love. My birthday was in a week and he was going to take me out for dinner. I'm thinking, yee-haw, my first couple days back in the game and I'm rackin' 'em up!
The next day, as this wild city continues the party, my eyes connect with this guy who is performing in a street fair. I manage to give him my email address and we begin emailing that night. Okay, so you're probably thinking, four guys in four days, what a tramp! Well, as my grandma always said, "keep your options open."
Sooooo...did everyone call me? Yep, they sure did!
Bachelor #1: Admitted he was in a long-term relationship. "Can we still go out?" No.
Bachelor #2: Had just gotten engaged. "But can we still go out?"
Bachelor #3: Married. FOR 17 YEARS. "Can I still take you to dinner?" NO, MOTHERF#*@ER!
Bachelor #4: Living with his girlfriend for five years. "Can we..." Don't even try.
W H A T T H E F U C K ????!!!!
That was almost three months ago and needless to say, I have not gone out on a date since.


Anonymous said...

Doesn't excuse you from being a slut. Slut.

Anonymous said...

she never said she was screwing them all. dating is just dating. dating exclusivly is another thing