Monday, May 28, 2007

Ok, Now What's Your Story?

Do you have a true, bad date story? Can we have it please? Then your story can join the ranks of such literary pearls as:
"Thankyou For Coming", "The Stain in Spain" , "If the Spew Fits" , "The Speed Date" , or my choice for most embarrassing date, "Stuck On You" . and of course the "Worst Date Ever",! C'mon, you know you want to, so just do it! ( bet you've heard that on a date before) Just send it as an e-mail at or leave it in the comments section below.

"Chicken Plant"??

It was a bad almost-date story. When I was in high school there was this guy who would always joke around with me and act flirty - it was very clear that he was interested in me. He just wasn't my type. One Saturday he called me at home (not sure how he got my #) and asked me to go on a picnic with him and his family - I had to find an excuse really fast, so I told him I was sick and couldn't go. About an hour later, the doorbell rang, my mom answered, it was for me and there he was... He came from a very large family and they were all in my driveway while he was standing at the door with a Hens and chicks plant - looking at the plant, he said how sorry he was that I was sick and that he brought me a "chicken plant". Then he looked up and turned pale. He proceeded to explain that he hadn't intended to ask me out but thought he was talking to my best friend who ironically had the same first name. It was just strange - after he left, my parents came out of hiding laughing so hard they were in tears.

A real "bad date" story - I was 19 and went on a first date with this guy who was a little older. He asked me to marry him that night and explained that he was gay and needed a wife to get his brother off his back. I asked "why me" and he said I had nice legs.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

OCD ...Obsessive Compulsive Dickhead

It was a blind date. Of course, I know not all those end badly but this one really was bad.

The guy was a major obsessive compulsive disorder poster child. He told me he had a hard time dating because no one was good enough for him. I laughed and he looked at me seriously and said "Im serious, no one is good enough" Okay, no pressure there....

When I started to get into his pick up for our date, he put a towel down on the seat... but I didnt think too much of it because he was sitting on a towel too and it was a very nice truck. But when I said something about it, he said something like "My friends think Im crazy, but look. Your arm is touching the arm rest and I dont know where your arm has been and I haven't said anything about it"... Needless to say I jerked my arm off the arm rest. Oh boy, we were just getting started.

We went to a restaurant.... what a mistake. The guy sent his glass of water back 3 times and his silverware twice. I felt so sorry for the waiter. But I was feeling awfully sorry for myself because I hadnt thought of a way out of this date or a painful way to kill my friend who had set us up.

I did go home early, made up a headache and never saw him again. He did call me after, but I told him it wasn't going to work out. With me being such a slob and all....