Monday, August 14, 2006

A Little Something To Remember Her By

I went over to her house, we were madly in love from the first time we saw each other - we thought we could wait and be patient and go through the proper channels like dating, going steady, and maybe moving in with each other. But the Sexual chemistry was mad, I showed up at her door in an expensive suit, we were meant to go out. Instead she pulled me in by the tie, Ripped apart my $200 suit, we made mad love to each other on the sofa, on the floor all over the place - Then she told me it was going too fast, and she needed her space. I have not seen her in 6 months. She also gave me herpes. That totally sucked.

A Date Ending in Handcuffs

Editors note: Normally I don't publish stories this short, but I can't help wondering if she was yelling "Call Me!" as he was being led away...
My date got arrested for urinating in public and got hauled away in handcuffs.
Good times.

Ken and the Anti-Barbie

I dated a Ken doll. He was perfectly dressed, manicured and had enough hair spray on his hair to keep it in place during a high wind. He was attracted to me because I was "natural" and "down to earth". First date was okay. By the second date, he's telling me what I should wear, recommending to me how I should do my hair (I'm sorry..long straight and parted in the middle is a problem?)...telling me I needed to wear makeup *ech*) on and so forth.
At the end of the date, I told him nicely that we really weren't suited, and explained why...he informed me that I just wasn't open to suggestions from someone who cared about me. He kept insisting...and I finally told him that if I went out with him again, I was just going to make him really angry. He told me I couldn't make him I messed up his hair...he got really angry ...and he never called me again.