Saturday, July 29, 2006

Cakeboy

Editors Note: This is an odd one. Ok, a cake as a gift on the first date is indeed an eccentric gift, but should she have slammed the door in his face? Then again, insisting he come inside and watch "her" eat some (not eat it together) made me think she made the right move...any comments on this one?

This was my first date with an ex-coworker of mine who'd been quite insistant on dating me for 2 years. I agreed once I had landed a different job, making my agreeance more of a pity date. But I had the bad luck to agree to a Valentine's Day Date.
He was "dropped off" by a friend in a rasping-against-the-ground junker, complete with 1 hubcap. He emerged from the car with a pink box. I didn't understand at the time, thinking perhaps it was some sort of gift box with flowers inside? I smiled, stood at my front door as his friend leaned out of the car smiling, car idling, which brought me to the unmistakable fear that he would be our "ride."
When he reached the steps, I noticed he was dressed from head to toe in blue. Blue jeans, blue polo and yes blue suede shoes. I cracked a nervous smile as he thrust the pink box into my arms. I wanted to open it later, but he said, "No open it now." I agreed, opened the box.
A heart-shaped red glazed vanilla cake that had pink candy hearts on top awaited inside.
I didn't know what to say. Who the hell brings a Cake to their date? Taking my stunned silence as speechless-in-delight, he leaned in and attempted to kiss me. I adverted my gaze and dropped my head, and his lips gnashed my cheek.
"My friend made it for me. He hooked it up- he works at a bakery," he said, again smiling. I nodded, feigned a smile over at his friend, who honked the horn impatiently. Then came the worst part.
"Why don't we go inside so you can eat some-" my date offered. I stared at him like he was an idiot and he said, "C'mon I'm not going to try anything. I didn't bring a fork."
I walked back in, with him in tow & abruptly slammed the door in his face and dropped the cake off on the counter of my kitchen. It was by far the most horrifying "date" I had ever had.
I relayed the store to my ex-coworkers afterwards, who then branded him "Cake Boy."