Friday, June 06, 2008

"A Shark Tale" Tale

This is so bad its shameful.A few years ago I was really into this online RPG game and I met someone on there. We became friends on the game for several months...then spoke on the phone for several months...before finally deciding to meet in person. He was 16 and I was 18, and since he could not yet drive he had his mother drive him from out of state. We cleared it with our parents first. I had only seen one picture of him and he looked cute in it.So...the guy showed up on the doorstep with his hillbilly mom and trashy sister and he looked NOTHING like his picture. He was shlubby and gross and his hair was totally greasy. He was a lot heavier than his picture-"Athletic" my ass! And boy did he smell or what?! What kind of person doesn't shower before a first date?I didnt even know what to do. He brought me roses and I was too grossed out to even respond properly. Then his mom had him pose next to me and take a picture, I felt like a landmark. "Good boy now pose next to the New York girl!"...Then I was stuck with him for 5 freaking hours. Since I drive, I took him to pizza (not such a great idea..watching him eat was a little revolting) then to my college, showed him around, then I saw that "A Shark Tale" was on in the student lounge so I had us watch it (just to kill time and keep the conversation at a minimum...I was so repulsed). He kept trying to put his fat smelly gross arm around me,
it made me flinch. Finally it was time for him to go and after he and his bumpkin family left my mom laughed her ass off at me. He got the hint though...the next day I got a 3 page email from him whining and complaining that I didnt like him. Ugh.So that was my crappy date. Everytime I see "A Shark Tale" on TV I thank god for that movie, it saved my ass. That was the most awkward 5 hours of my life.

Sunday, June 01, 2008


I agreed to meet a man I met on the internet (first mistake)
We went for drinks where he proceeded to dunk bread in his red wine and eat it (like dunking oreo's in milk) He kept talking with his hands and was tossing bread crumbs all over the place
I finished my drink and made my excuses, and he walked me to the car where I thanked him for the drink and he goes in for a kiss - I turn to give him the cheek and he started sucking on my earring!!!
The worst part was the horrible email he sent me a few days later about how screwed up I must be to not be interested in such a great guy