An Evening with Dr Jekyll

I just went on a date with a guy who was a total gentleman at first. We ordered dinner, had a few drinks and the conversation was great. Towards the end of the date he asked me if we were ready to leave. I said yes, the bill came, and I assumed that he would be the one paying for the dinner. He then asks me, "So you're coming back to my place to watch a movie, right?" I was confused and said, "..Well, no. I'm tired and I need to go home. Besides, I don't go home with guys on the first date." He then proceeded to insult me non-stop, saying that I had mental issues and baggage, he said that I was an idiot, stupid, slow, and claimed that I was upset because I turned down the best thing that I could have had. HA! My lack of sympathy for him made him even more upset. He made me pay half of the bill, which included his steak dinner and 2 shots of Patron. The entire night he harassed me with more insults through text, so I had to block his number. Wow. Just wow.

The Ass Pilot

The actual date was pretty bad. he didnt want to go to a restaurant or movie, just to the bar. so I agreed to meet him there. somehow he managed to only say a few really ridiculously stupid things durring our date. my favorite was a story that started out as, " I once flew a plane by myself." and then, after several changes of his story, became, "I once touched the controls of a plane while it was on the ground." way to go guy! I paid for all of my own drinks and when I told him it was getting late and I was going to call a cab and go home, he came back with, "alright! we are going back to your place!" so I explained that i was going to go home alone, he pulled out his phone and called his buddy and said into the phone, "hey, ya, this isnt happening you wanna go to the other bar? okay, i'll meet you in 10 minuets." then he starts to walk away and as im left standing there with my eyes wide in disbelief, he yells from across the street, "are you sure you dont wanna take me home!? im a sure thing!!!" so needless to say, i went home, alone, only to be woke up at 4am to a picture message from him......it was a picture of his bare ass. I assure you i did not do/say anything that would have lead him to believe I would appreciate that.

All That and Granny Too!

ok here goes...

When I was 16 one of my high school friends had set up a blind date with one of her so called "friends" who at the time was 21 and apparently "nice and cute"...so he was supposed to pick me up after school one day..which I spent a lot of time prettying myself up....So tell me why when I walked outside... he rolled down the windows from the backseat of an ugly run down car and waves me to come over...so as soon as I saw him I was like..OH GOD!...so I walked over and comes to find out his grandmother who has an oxygen tube next to her was apparently our chauffeur and he was in the backseat waiting for me...

So I felt bad and being that I don't break promises ...I got into the car to be smothered by him... then his grandmother took us to the mall and he took my hand and pulled me to the side and I kept trying to get away and he grabbed my face and then slobbered all over my face and shoved his tongue down my throat...at that point I screamed and luckily a group of guys came over and asked if I needed help...at that point I felt bad and just said no..

So I went on with the worst date of my life and he was a total pig..he ate all of his food and some of mine..for which he took me out to Taco Bell... and apparently he had issues with keeping his mouth closed while chewing... I insisted that I went home before my parents found out and so he called his grandmother to come pick us up...again..me thinking he was 21 and all that he would have a car and would be driving..but NO. so when I got home I took two showers and then got online to yell at my friend and looked at his AIM profile and noticed that his profile message had a poem about how much he loves me ...at the point I wanted to gag...

Stage 4 Clinger

Ok so. First off, dude doesn't have a car. *sigh* Fine, I understand. Ok, so we decide to meet at Walmart (because I need to get a Boss's Day card and a gift card.) So I go in Walmart, he sees me and runs up to me and hugs me. THEN remains within 1 inch of me all through Walmart. I can't walk with out his arm around me. UGHHHHHHHH SO ANNOYING. Then he's like 'can I hold your hand? Can I hold your hand?" Hello? I JUST MET YOU.

So then that's done. We go to eat. At the restaurant we walk in and I choose a booth. When we sit down, I literally take up my whole side in an effort of saying "I need you to sit on your own damn side. I need space, you're in my personal bubble." So he takes the hint AFTER asking me if he could sit next to me and I was like "uhhhhhhh". So the second he sits down, his hands are on the table in an attempt to hold my hand. So I grab the menu (I've been to this place a trillion times. I know the menu. I dont' need it) And I take the LONGEST time looking at it.

Then the waitress comes up, and his hands are still on the table, like, so that the second I set the menu down, he's gonna grab them. So I jokingly slap them away (as to not make our waitress uncomfortable) HE THEN proceeds to say to the waitress, "Do you see what I have to deal with all the time?" Really? All the time? Because we just met. Why are you speaking as if we've been dating for months....

Ok so... he wants to hold my hand while we eat. And every five minutes it's "Do you like me? Are you having a good time? Do you like me? Am I what you want?" UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEN OMG. THEN he asks me what I want for Christmas.... WHAT????????

So finally I'm sick of it, and I can't pretend to be enjoying it anymore. I'm just like "Look.... I just want to tell you that I'm not a touchy feely person." (I totally am, he's just taking it TO THE MAX) And he was just like, oh okay. Then he... doesn't stop. -__- and I'm clearly getting pissed off. So finally he's like "Look, maybe we rushed into this too fast. I think maybe we should just try to be friends". UHHHHHHHHH YEAH BUDDY. I'VE BEEN GIVING YOU THAT VIBE FOR THE PAST HOUR.

Then he's like "omg you look like you're gonna cry. don't be upset, I'm not rejecting you"


REALLY? I look like I'm gonna cry? So what we learned is, when I look the most happy, it apparently looks like I'm gonna cry. Maybe tears of joy?