Saturday, July 15, 2006

Caught in The Headlights

Boy, oh, boy, I have so many! I guess I am quite an expert when it comes to dating horrible men. My absolute worst one was with this guy who let me wait for him in a restaurant for almost an hour. When he showed up, he told me that he was late because his ATM card broke in half when he tried to retrieve money. He asked me if I would mind if we postponed our date and when we walked out of the restaurant, said he wanted to talk to me for a bit. If I wanted to sit in his car with him for a while? So, there we were in his car. Then he told me that he had to take a pee and jumped out, walked right in front of the headlights, took out his you know what and took a long lavish leek. After jumping back in the car, he asked me if I would mind carrying his child, he would pay me for it. Do you think we hit rock bottom there? Naaah... I said: well, gee, you know what, I have to go and started to open the door and that was when he reached over and planted this disgusting, wet, garlic-reeking, prickly beard smackeroo right on my kisser. Needless to say, I didn't date anyone for about a year after that. Blech!