Monday, March 06, 2006

The Lost Story

Editors Note: This story was sent to me recently. I liked it, made a note to publish it and then promptly lost it! I don't have a clue how I lost it either, so , with my apologies to the original writer I've retold it in my own words... here it is:
This story concerns a young, teenage lad, still (reluctantly) a virgin and determined to change his status. Now our hero, (let's call him Leo) through courage and perserverence, managed to land a date with one of the most popular girls in school. Popular because she was cute, popular because she was smart, but mostly popular because she "put out" every time. As the appointed day drew nearer, Leo could barely contain his excitement. He borrowed a friends car, one with a huge backseat. Made an embarrassing, but neccessary trip to the drug store ( even practiced putting "them" on). What could go wrong?
Finally the big night arrived. He pulled into her driveway (no, this isn't a metaphor...her actual driveway) and smiled as he saw her wave and start walking toward the car. Oooo, The sweater she was wearing was tight! Ahhh, the lipstick she was wearing was shiny and red! Then she got in the car and the cologne she was wearing was: ARGHHH...THE EXACT SAME SCENT HIS MOTHER HAD WORN FOR HIS ENTIRE LIFE! Now we all know that any thought of a mother is like Kryptonite to a guys sex life and that night, all night ,Leos Moms presence, seemed to, well, hang in the air. So Leo, poor sad Leo couldn't even bring himself to kiss his date! In years to come, that night would always be remembered by the girl as when the one "nice guy" in high school asked her out and she would always wonder why he never asked again...or if he turned out gay!