Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Lone Star Love

Seven years ago I was living in far West Tx. I had been talking to this guy online for a while and we decided to meet. He flew me to Houston and from the moment I laid eyes on him, I hated his guts. His love for himself just oozed everywhere... it was disgusting. And I was supposed to spend the weekend with him! UGH!!!
We went to dinner and had a horrible time. Got back to his place and I asked if he'd mind taking me to the airport the next day. He agreed, but wasn't happy about it. So I was sleeping on the couch and he like, came skipping into the living room telling me he was "gonna make a booty call!" Wooohoo! (peace at last!)
Anyway, the next day he took me to the airport. I went to get my ticket and in the time I had gotten out of the car and walked to the gate, he called and cancelled my ticket!
After 1/2 hour of begging the airline and explaining the dumba-s internet thing, they THANKFULLY gave me a free ticket home.
eh, got a free dinner anyway. LOL

Saturday, February 24, 2007

What's Your Story?

Do you have a true, bad date story? Can we have it please? Then your story can join the ranks of such literary pearls as:
"Thankyou For Coming", "The Stain in Spain" , "If the Spew Fits" , "The Speed Date" , or my choice for most embarrassing date, "Stuck On You" . and of course the "Worst Date Ever",! C'mon, you know you want to, so just do it! ( bet you've heard that on a date before) Just send it as an e-mail at or leave it in the comments section below.

Stormy Weather

My worst date I ever happened when I was 14. This guy I really liked asked me out one day, and we decided to go to the movies. We both live within walking distance of eachother and the theatre, so he just walked to my house to pick me up, and then we went together. It started out with everything being perfect. My clothes were perfect, my hair was perfect, my make-up was perfect. He arrived on time and we were only 5 steps down the street when out of nowhere, a pounding rain flew from the sky- totally unexpected! We ran through the rain to the theatre and discovered that it was closed- we had scheduled out date on Martin Luther King Jr. Day! We walked around town, soaking wet, looking for a restaurant, but they had all closed early. Finally we found a McDonalds, and I was so starving, but couldn't eat anything there because I'm a vegetarian, and also a total health freak- wayy against McDonalds. My date had a burger, and then we didn't know what to do, so he just walked me home. When I looked in the mirror at home, I discovered that my mascara had been running down the face the entire night- thats why everyone was staring at me in the restaurant! I felt like crying! It had truly been the worst date ever!

Saturday, February 17, 2007

A Sharp Dressed Man

A new kid moved into our district and he had no friends. Me and my friends felt sorry for him, so after talking to him a little bit, he asked me out. I was suprised, but I didn't want him to get upset, so I said yes.

So we met at the movies, and he was wearing a TUX! Not kidding! I was just wearing a shirt and jeans that I would wear to school, but HIM! He was soo fancy, and his hair was slicked back with hair gel. I could tell he was so nervous. He was constantly drumming his fingers quietly against his pants, but I could still hear it and see it. The person selling the tickets was staring at him like he was crazy in his tux, and I was just hoping no one from school would see him like that. He was a nice guy, but a tuxedo?? COME ON!

So he insists on paying for the tickets and he says that you should never treat a lady to anything but the best, so he decided to get us a really big popcorn and an expensive slushie for me. I disagreed, but he wouldn't drop it. So while paying for it, he realized he has misplaced about $5. He spent about 10 minutes searching all his pockets (only 4) over and over again, until he finally understood he didn't bring any extra money. We ended up getting a small popcorn and he just got me a small water.

We were walking to the actual theater when I accidently brushed my shoulder against his. I said sorry and started up a conversation, but he became so incredibley nervous! He started shaking and I could see him kind of sweating. When we were almost in the theater, I ask him, "Is something wrong?"

He turns around, looks at me, and his eyes get all wide. Then he screams to the whole place "I AM NOT READY TO HAVE SEX!"

Note: I am a virgin and I plan to only lose my virginity when I know the guy I am meant to be with. He got this thought when my shoulder accidently brushed against him!

I was staring at him, mouth wide open, and everyone is staring at me!

I COULD have spilled my water and popcorn all over him, but instead I led him into an empty theater, slapped him, and said, "Listen, I do not want to have s-- with you. My shoulder accidently brushed against you, it didn't mean anything. And I am sorry, but I don't think this date is going any further. Plus, you NEVER wear a Tux on a date."

I walked out of there and went home, he called me up, saying he was sorry, and also said that he spent the whole day before watching old dating movies and listening to his extremely loserish older brothers on what to expect on a date. Needless to say, we both get really shy when we walk past eachother in the hallway.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

More on Moms

I asked this girl to go bowling with me. We're both young mind you, teenagers, and so our parents drive us separately. We see each other and have an awkward 5 minutes of our parents talking, and us standing there looking at our feet. Then I realised I forgot my wallet, and my mum paid for me in front of my date. Great. Then just as our mums are leaving, my dear sweet mother turns around and says "xxxxx (name) sweety, how are you getting home?". realising we had no way of getting hom my mum offered, nay, demanded she stay with us til we finish. She sat at the end of the alley, and we bowled barely speaking a word to each other. When driving home, she jumped in back seat, and me not thinking jumped in front, and we barely talked all drive home, while my mum sung to her ABBA CD.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Scent of a Woman

Editors Note:I kinda wish the girl in this story could meet the guy in this story...(ah, love, sigh).
Believe it or not, and as God is my witness, this is a true story. About 18 years ago, (and this story is burned in my mind), I wanted so bad to go out with my brest friends sister, and she was hot, big rack, long legs and just beautiful. We flirted many times, and finally deceided to go out, and she wanted to go to the drive-in, and I was like "yes", and my first thought was to jump into her blouse. Well, we get to the drive in, we walked to the snack bar holding hands, bought our snacks and returned to the car. The movie started, and we started to get comfortable, when she said, "can I take off my shoes", and I was like "yes, go for it". Well then the nightmare began, (please I am not making this up), but her feet smelled like something died, and I still cannot figure out to this day, that she never even noticed it. But really it was so bad, I did not want to do "anything", but get air and out of that car, honestly it was that bad. I could not concentrate on anything, and the mood was out the window, really that bad. I convinced her to go out and sit on the bench and get some air and look at the stars. We went out of the car, and I could still not get that smell out of my nostrils and my mind. Well, I took her home and cleaned the dashboard (really) and we are still friends and she still does not know why, we never worked out. It might sound silly and stupid, but those feet will haunt me for the rest of my life, and I have only shared this stroy with a handful of people, (but I don't let anyone know who she was), and this story is a riot to many people. But that is the truth, and I don't know if there was a medical issue, or just dirty smelly sweaty feet, or what, but I will never forget that night. Thanks for letting me share. Please to the ladies out there, in no way and I trying to insult anyone, but this story is true...........