A Date Ending In Handcuffs #2

It was a blind date. My friend got us together.
He showed up on time, looked nice and was courteous. He met my parents and they thought he was nice, too. We had reservations at a restaurant close to my house.
We headed out and we were pulled over near the entrance to the restaurant. The cops took his ID, registration and also took my ID.
After a while, the cops started to get out of the car to come back to us. All-of-a-sudden my date opened the door and bolted. I didn't know what the hell was going on. One cop chased after him and the other cop pulled me out and handcuffed my hands behind my back.
Being handcuffed isn't good. The police like to keep them tightened up on your wrists. The cop that cuffed me pulled me aggressively back towards the squad car asking me all this crap about my so-called "boyfriend". OBVIOUSLY he wasn't my boyfriend. I barely knew him!!
The cop put me in the car and seatbelted me. He started searching the car when the other cop came back with my date in handcuffs. My date was swearing, spitting and trying to attack the cops. What a jerk.
They get him under control and put him into another police car that responded to their calls for help. I'm trying to situate myself in the seat and it's impossible.
The cops had the car towed and they brought me to the station. They finally took the cuffs off me and searched me. They printed me and took my photo.
I was then brought into a room where another cop and a lawyer were present. I was being charged with larceny of a motor vehicle and resisting arrest. Resisting arrest??
I'm trying to tell them I have no idea what the hell is happening. After a few hours, my date confessed to stealing the car and said I had nothing to do with any of it.
I was released and charges were dropped against me. I was innocent. He's currently serving two years for auto theft. He had been arrested for stealing cars in the past.
Always know who you're going out with and the vehicle they're driving. Handcuffs are TIGHT and UNCOMFORTABLE! take this to heart, you don't want to find out on your own.
I'm currently pursuing a lawsuit. I was falsely arrested and mistreated.

Her Agenda

She answered my personal ad...we decided to meet for lunch (after having spoken on the phone very briefly)...lunch consists of the usual stuff, what do you do, where do you come from, etc...turns out she is a teacher on leave, she spent the summer biking across canada, climbed a mountain, rafted the colorado, traveled across europe...wow, taking a year off to do all the things she wanted to do before she got too old, she is 38, I am 44...of course I had little of that sort to serve up, but I did my best to cover my end...building my business, investing in a few things, kinda boring when you consider...and then, maybe half way through burgers she looks me square in the eye and asks, "so are you ready to have children"..."children?" I say..."yes, are you ready to have children, I'm 38 and I want to get started on a family immediately"...jokingly I said, "can it wait till after lunch"...to which she replied in a rather serious tone, "no problem, my place is about two blocks from here, we can start then"..."I was joking," I said, to which she replied, "I wasn't"..."huh?"...stunned I stumbled for a minute and just had to say children were not really something on my agenda and probably wouldn't be soon, if at all...to which she got up (remember we are still in the middle of lunch, burgers half eaten, drinks half drunk), grabbed her coat and walked out without saying another word...

Should Have Left The Light Off!

Years ago a prankster friend of mine hooked me up with a gorgeous female who had the sexiest and coolest walk in the world. The four of us partied the night away. We danced, we drank, and of course, we smoked. Later, we all agreed to continue the party at my friend's house. The atmosphere, the music, and everything was right, plus by that time I had a serious buzz on. Eventually, my date and I retired to the guest bedroom to call it a night and REST! I excused my self and went to the bathroom. When I returned to the guest bedroom, all the lights were out. Being the sneak that I am, I created some dumb reason to turn the lights back on. WOW! On the night stand was her wig, and without it she had the features of a young man. However, the real shocker was when on the floor beside her side of the bed was an artificial limb from the knee-down. Mind you, I'm not making fun of her, because not one of us is perfect. It's just that at that particular time in my life I wasn't prepared to deal with all of that, and I didn't have the charismatic knowledge to bow out gracefully. I refuse to continue on with part 2, but my friend the prankster got an ear full in part 3. THIS IS A TRUE HAPPENING!!

Viva Margarita

There was the woman I met at a Mexican Restaurant at 1:00 PM on a Sunday that was already drunk. She proceeded to drink two more 40 oz. Marguiritas (sp?) through the afternoon. She tried to hug everyone's kids, wanted me to buy her flowers, and it became apparent that she had more than one personality. One minute she'd be talking about her birds, then a grin would suddenly light up her face as she said "Fuck You!". I wasn't even saying anything at the time so it wasn't in response to anything I said or did. At one point she went to the bathroom in the basement of the place. After a half an hour had passed I figured she had slipped out the door, but she suddenly reappeared with perspiration on her face telling me the bathroom was several floors down and she had to walk really far. When I went to the bathrioom it was only a flight of stairs down, but after being exposed to several different personalities, some very pleasant, others from the Exorcist, I just took it in stride. We didn't order our food until around 4:00 PM, but I was fascinated by these abrupt changes and I was tempted to ask her if her personalities had different names. We finally left around 7:30 and she was far too drunk to drive. She didn't believe me until she fell onto the road. I waved a cab down and gave her a $20 bill. The next morning I got an email from her asking me where she parked her car. I told her it was in front of the restaurant, but I think she blacked out before she even got to the place. It turned out she had charged the cab on her credit card and went to a bar to drink some more before she went home. She told me she was a really nice person and wanted to go out with me again, but I turned her down.