Saturday, February 17, 2007

A Sharp Dressed Man

A new kid moved into our district and he had no friends. Me and my friends felt sorry for him, so after talking to him a little bit, he asked me out. I was suprised, but I didn't want him to get upset, so I said yes.

So we met at the movies, and he was wearing a TUX! Not kidding! I was just wearing a shirt and jeans that I would wear to school, but HIM! He was soo fancy, and his hair was slicked back with hair gel. I could tell he was so nervous. He was constantly drumming his fingers quietly against his pants, but I could still hear it and see it. The person selling the tickets was staring at him like he was crazy in his tux, and I was just hoping no one from school would see him like that. He was a nice guy, but a tuxedo?? COME ON!

So he insists on paying for the tickets and he says that you should never treat a lady to anything but the best, so he decided to get us a really big popcorn and an expensive slushie for me. I disagreed, but he wouldn't drop it. So while paying for it, he realized he has misplaced about $5. He spent about 10 minutes searching all his pockets (only 4) over and over again, until he finally understood he didn't bring any extra money. We ended up getting a small popcorn and he just got me a small water.

We were walking to the actual theater when I accidently brushed my shoulder against his. I said sorry and started up a conversation, but he became so incredibley nervous! He started shaking and I could see him kind of sweating. When we were almost in the theater, I ask him, "Is something wrong?"

He turns around, looks at me, and his eyes get all wide. Then he screams to the whole place "I AM NOT READY TO HAVE SEX!"

Note: I am a virgin and I plan to only lose my virginity when I know the guy I am meant to be with. He got this thought when my shoulder accidently brushed against him!

I was staring at him, mouth wide open, and everyone is staring at me!

I COULD have spilled my water and popcorn all over him, but instead I led him into an empty theater, slapped him, and said, "Listen, I do not want to have s-- with you. My shoulder accidently brushed against you, it didn't mean anything. And I am sorry, but I don't think this date is going any further. Plus, you NEVER wear a Tux on a date."

I walked out of there and went home, he called me up, saying he was sorry, and also said that he spent the whole day before watching old dating movies and listening to his extremely loserish older brothers on what to expect on a date. Needless to say, we both get really shy when we walk past eachother in the hallway.


TheGeek said...

Omg, I feel so sorry for that guy, he obviously has no knowledge of social bounds (like me I guess). It sounded like a horrible date though, I hope mine tomorrow fairs a bit better.

Anonymous said...

The key word in theis whole tale is "KID" -- new kid at the scholol, kid in a tux, kid who forgot his money -- beyond that it qualifies for some silly advice column in Teen Magazine.

Kids, lighten up. The whole idea of going to a movie is to do something fun and neutral together without being shoved into a tight squeeze.

No tux, no flashing the 'wad' of fifties to impress -- just jeans and smiles and hope to have fun, okay?

Anonymous said...

That is the funniest story ever! That poor guy....but how embarrasing and painful for you!