Tuesday, August 22, 2006


I was at a singles weekend with my friend Joan when I
met George. He wasn't my usual type but I figured I'd
give him a chance. Back in the city he called to ask
me to dinner. In a time where most first dates are
just drinks or less, I thought it was nice. But in
all of Manhattan he tells me to meet him at a place in
harlem, incredibly inconvenient for me, (an
east-sider) yet very convenient for him as he worked
nearby. I thought that was a bit rude, but went with
it. I meet him at a family style Italian place which
was fairly inexpensive, but I was OK with it, I love
Italian food and family style is always fun (although
usually better for groups, but whatev).

As I'm scanning the giant menu boards on the wall, he
shoves a paper flyer at me and tells me I must order
from their price fixe menu, which is even cheaper than
the regular food (which is only about $10-$15 per
dish). I was annoyed that the dish I wanted (Penne
ala Vodka) wasn't on it, but I agree. Then I'm
scanning the price fixed menu and he says "I think we
should have the Chicken Scarpariello." I nod to
acknowledge that I heard him but keep looking to see
what our other options are, (as it's family style, we
would be sharing 1 dish) but he keeps saying it over
and over, "I really like the chicken scarpariello. I
think we should get that. They make really good
chicken scarpariello..." So I finally agree realizing
that he doesn't care what I want to eat so Chicken
Scarpariello it is.

Dinner was nice enough and the check comes and it was
under $20, literally. Now I usually offer to split it
but being that a) I went out of my way to go to him,
b) we ordered what he wanted, not what I wanted and c)
it was so darn cheap, I chose not to even offer. So
he's sitting there looking at the check and hesitating
and looking at me and back at the check... I think he
was actually waiting for me to offer to split it!
Like he really needed my $10 (quick aside, I was in
my mid-20s and he in his 30s, hardly starving college

He finally pays the check and we leave. I want to
head home and he says he's going my way. As I'm about
to stick my arm out for a cab, he says something like
"Do you have change for the bus?" Yes, he intended to
see me home from our first date on the bus! (Note:
this was before the days of MetroCards so you needed
exact change). I had no intention of riding the bus
home with my date so I said "no, we should take a cab.
Don't worry, I'll pay for it." So we hail a cab and
take it to my house, where indeed he let me pay for it
(the cab ride was almost as much as the whole dinner
check!). He got out with me and no doubt, took a bus
the rest of the way home. One lame date finally over.

But wait, there's more!

My friend Joan with whom I'd met our thrifty friend
George went to a singles party later that same week
and ran into George, where he proceeded to ask her
out! She was like "No, you went out with my friend
like yesterday." Was he kidding, asking out my friend
2 days later? So my friend Joan called to tell me
George had hit on her and I figured he'd had about as
much fun as I had on our date and either wanted to
send me some kind of FU message, or perhaps truly
wished he'd asked out my friend instead of me. But lo
and behold, a few days later he called to ask me out
again! When I told him no because I knew he asked out
my friend (I didn't mentioned all his other faux pas)
he was like "Really, was that wrong?" What guy
doesn't know NOT to ask out the friend of a girl he's
in the process of courting???? Idiot. And that was
last I ever heard from george.

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