Wednesday, January 25, 2006

The Coolest Guy (of 1942)

I had taken my friend for outpatient surgery and was passing time in the hospital cafeteria. I engaged in a conversation with a very hot thirty something Dr. He noted my accent and asked where I was from. He then told me his colleague was from my hometown and that we just had to meet. I was dubious but this guy was HOT and what the heck? I didn't give him my number but a few days later he had his secretary track me down and i agreed to let Dr. X call me. He called me at work so we couldn't chat but we arranged to go out for dinner. My roommate was impressed when I told her I was having dinner with a renowned cardiologist from my hometown. My cafeteria friend had described him as tall and handsome. I was in my room getting ready and my roommate told me there was a Rolls Royce pulling into our driveway. I knew I was in trouble when I heard her answer the door. "Good evening sir" I heard her say and then I could hear her in her room, stifling her laughter into her pillow. She was laughing too hard to explain so I just took a deep breath and went into the living room. There he was, he was tall for sure, but he was also ANCIENT! It hadn't crossed my mind to ask how old he was. I was 25 at the time and expected a thirty something guy. He was around 70, had a gold shirt unbuttoned to reveal his tacky, but expensive, gold chains and his turkey neck and wrinkled chest. He smiled and his wrinkly, tanned and creased face revealed a full set of too white dentures. His toupee was ridiculous. What could I do? We went to dinner where he droned on about his investments and I drank too much wine. He then took me to a party which was great but I wanted out of there so I told him I was very tired. It was 9:15. He said he'd take me home but needed to stop off at home first. Uh Oh. He drove up this long winding path, expensive security system, six car garage and invited me in. Since I had to "go" I did go into his house where he offered me a drink. I accepted a glass of water and watched him pour himself a nice, stiff drink. He half lay on the couch and I sat perched on a ktichen chair, ready to bolt. To my delight, he promptly fell asleep. It was very classy the way his mouth hung open and for a moment I wondered if he'd died! I checked for a pulse and then took off out of there, sprinting down the winding dark driveway and onto the road and walked to the closest 7-11 where I summoned my roommate to come and get me. He never called again and I'm thinking he probably thought he dreamt the whole thing.

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