Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Longest Shortest Date

Last night I went on one of the worst dates I have ever been on. It started a little after 7 and luckily ended well before 9:15.

I'm pretty sure this thirty two year old man was stoned out of his mind and had started drinking a good two hours before he met me. After half a beer and a full minute of pure silence he asked me to tell him something interesting about myself that he "never would have guessed". It was at that point I contemplated running.
After my vague and unenthusiastic response he wanted to share something interesting about himself. Well let me tell you what he started off with. He told me he was a smoker and I told him I though it was disgusting and I didn't date smokers. He then told me that it was actually the first day he quit smoking, pulled out a pack of Nicorette gum and then said that I would be his inspiration to quit. WOW.

I pounded the rest of my beer and prayed that dinner would be quick and painless. At the restaurant (which I frequent) he was incredibly rude to the waitress. After staring aimlessly at the menu he appeared to be irate because they didn't serve Japanese beer (It's a Thai restaurant) and so he made a scene as I sat in the corner hoping no one would recognize me or hold me accountable for his actions.

The check finally came and I told him I needed to call it a night. He asked me if I wanted a ride and I told him I was only a few blocks away and needed the exercise. When he asked which direction I was going I pointed in the opposite way of where I was actually headed and walked around the block so he wouldn't follow me or figure out where I lived.

I have another date Saturday night. If it is in any way comparable to this last one I am giving up on men altogether.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Driving Mrs. Daisy

Alright so I went on a date yesterday with my boyfriend of 4 months. My day had been very hectic so imagine my relief when he said "I'm taking you out". Yay! some fun EXACTLY what I needed. He then asks if I would mind driving. ummm? I thought you were taking me out? but okay yeah I can drive. We arrive at the restaurant order drinks then his phone rings. He then proceeds to check his voicemail. He goes outside to return the call and chit chats for a long time. I start to wonder if he is going to come back. Eventually like 10-12 min later he does. I'm like is everything okay? yeah it wasn't an emergency. I try to get through dinner though it's clear I'm upset. Call me old fashioned but taking a long call at dinner when it isn't an emergency is just straight rude. The rest of the dinner is really awkward as a result. After dinner he asks me to stop by lowe's and target. I try to manage getting through his errands. He then asks if I can take him to publix so he can pick up a gift card. At this point I'm completely exhausted (it's been hrs, at one point i had to watch him spend 15 minutes contemplating what caulk he needed). we get back to his place and unload all his purchases. I tell him I'm going home and he responds you don't want to spend more time with me? I responded No I just want to go home. I finally get home and wondered wth just happened to my friday night. I wish I had stayed home and painted my nails instead..

Anonymous said...

that is truly awful, your brave to go out on another one so soon. I think I would need a few weeks.

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