Sunday, September 17, 2006

The Problem With Retrievers!

Editors Note: This may be the rudest, most foul and obscene story I've ever put on the blog...don't read it!
I swear this is true. It could only happen to me....
It happened last year. I went out on a date with a gal, (2nd one I think), we went back to her house after a night out of fun, every thing was going great... "UNTIL".. I had to go to the bathroom, #2, (doody), a BIG #2.
So, I excused myself and went into the bathroom and dropped one huge, long, hard log, this thing was at least 9" long and as thick as a rolling pin, what a relief, wow.
Then I went to flush it, WOULD NOT GO DOWN THE HOLE!!! Too damn big, now, I know I'm f---ed.... OH MY GOD! what the hell am I going to do?
I flushed 2 more times, the paper went around and down but not the turd! I was panicing...but, ya know, it was pretty firm so,
I carefully picked it up out of the bowl and threw it out the window.
Well, what else was I going to do?? I couldn't just leave it there, she would find it! Anyway, now everything was cool, problem solved! The sex was great and we fell asleep, whew...
Until, the morning when we got up!
Her dog needed to go out, so she let it out. Wouldn't you know, the temp. dropped that nite and the turd froze solid and the damn, stupid dog picked it up and brought it inside, right into the room where we were. I was like, "holy sh-t" look at that!
Well, she freaked, I was bustin at the seams and the dog was in trouble.. Wow, that was close.. I still laugh every time I think of this.


Anonymous said...

Shit happens.....

Anonymous said...

Isn't this a variation on a story by author David Sedaris.