Tuesday, May 30, 2006


OK, the date is set up on the internet.

DATE 1: He picks me up at my apartment complex. We make our way to a restaurant. It is freezing out. We are bundled up in sweaters and coats. Everything went good. At the end of the date he kisses me. Nice kisser. I agree to a second date.

DATE 2: 1 1/2 weeks later. It's still freezing out, sweaters and coats, hat and scarf. He again is a perfect gentleman. We went to a beautiful restaurant and the food was wonderful. We had another pleasant date with stimulating conversation. Kisses me again. Nice kisser. I agree to a third date.

DATE 3: He picks me up. He tells me we have to stop at his house so he can change his shirt. I accidently got a glimpse of him with the shirt off. I was so repulsed. I couldn't believe how well he hid that fat. I knew right then and there this was not going any further. I just couldn't. I know it sounds shallow and horrible. I have be physically attracted to a man with clothes and without.

I can deal with a few extra pounds, 5-10, 15 max. 20 or more? I can't do it. If he looks like that at 38, what will he look like at 48 or 58? The health problems that this brings on is something I don't want in a boyfriend/potential husband/life partner. Some will respond and tell me I should have talked to him about it. I will respond now. I shouldn't have to. Everyone knows about the health problems and potential health problems. Everyone knows that 65% of America is fat and/or obese. People who are overweight know they are overweight. They don't need to be told. I don't feel sorry for them. I see it as a choice. You choose to be that way. You choose what you eat. You choose whether or not you get your ass off the couch.

I now understand what guys mean when they say how some girls look good in clothes but horrible naked. I used to think it was mean, but it has happened to me. I think there is a nickname for this. I don't remember what it's called.


Anonymous said...

I used to work for a dating service and can tell you that MOST people put on weight when they're between relationships. You don't have to tell him he's fat. Instead of dates where he generously treats you to meals, take him hiking, walk through museums, comp him a guest pass to your gym. Once he's going out instead of watching TV; and having regular sex, he's bound to lose weight. The good news is, he's probably truly available, not just a player.

And BTW, visually is just one small part of how to experience another's body. Taste, smell, touch can be even more important, especially when you consider how often you close your eyes during sex. Excess weight can add a lavish, almost decadent element.

Personally, I don't like the feeling of carrying any extra weight, and never let myself get more than 3 or 4 pounds over before dieting. But I've had some very good times with overweight guys, and highly recommend that you let him help you work on your flexibility.

Meg said...

I went out with a guy that had 20 extra pounds on him. For a girl with body issues, it was a big deal for me. He called me on it by asking me why I never touched him.... and then I realized that I liked him enough to love the manboobs.

We broke up, but he taught me that size really doesn't matter. I still agree with your post, though.

Anonymous said...

That is just the bitchiest thing I have ever heard. You don't feel sorry for fat people because it is a choice? Fuck you. Fat people don't need your pity. Do you also hold back pity for people with brain damage as a result of drugs or alcohol because it was a choice? You blithering idiot. Do us all a favor and tape a plastic bag on your head. Don't ever bitch about not being able to find a decent guy. You just passed one up for the most shallow, superficial reason I can think of. stupid bitch

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Anonymous said...

personally, i would judge someone that was brain damaged due to drug or alcohol abuse. i would call them a retard.