The Potato Man

Ok so this is my BAD DATE! I responded to a personal ad, to a guy,
we'll call M, He's late 30's I am late 20's. He has very fair skin and
is not attractive but seemed very nice.He sent a few pictures and stated
that he was some bigwig that works with pro-athletes. I am a very
attractive police officer s,to protect myself when we spoke over the phone, I
asked him for his last name..(to find out if I am going on a date with a
serial killer). He sounds like a gentlemen and says his last name , but I
didn't understand it and after him saying it twice I just thought I would not
be rude, and agreed to meet him on our date.
I tell my girlfriends what I am doing (just in case) and pack my
weapon..before the date on the phone this guy is going on and on about
all the fancy things he gets to do and all the property he owns in Troy
Michigan...I really could care less (as long as you were nice and
didn't sponge off of your mom) but anyways he says to meet him at the
Somerset Mall PF Changs.. I arrive first and find out there is a 2 hour wait.So I
call him and ask did you make reservations? (i mean you said you were
this big hot shot) NOPE no reservations.. I already have the feeling that this
is not going to be a good date..
I am about to leave when he walks in. I tell him I am not waiting 2
hours to sit down and eat.. He says "don't Go" well find another place..So while
we are walking around the mall,, He is very "grabby" grabbing my waist
pulling me close to him says how GOOD we look together..(well of COURSE you
look good with me) all I could think was EWWWWW yuck, he didn't look like
his pictures at all!! He was a fat white guy, and I really believe he
lacked anything in his body to give him some type of color! He was bright red,
like he just went tanning before he came to meet me. So I am walking around
with this bloated red guy who has a dangley doubble chin.. so we are
wallking around and he says "do you want to go shopping? I buy you a purse" I
stated that I have a purse and I do not want him to take me shopping!
I wanted to eat!( I figure at least I can get dinner out of this) We find
ourselves at the marshall fields cafe..(ohh 5star) He orders a roast
beef sandwhich and mashed potates, I think I got a salad or something..Over
dinner conversation I ask him again what his last name is and with a
mouthfull he answers and again I can not understand..
I am tired of this so I ask him WHAT IS YOUR LAST NAME? He gets all
huffy and says WHY? I don't like to give my last name out to anyone, I am a
VIP and I have to protect myself from "moochers" I realize that this guy
is a BIG FRAUD! Why else would he not give me something as simple as his
name?? Then he started on with how rich and sucessfull he is, with a MOUTH
FULL OF MASHED potatoes,, He looked like a baby who was eatting solid food for
the first time! While dodgeing the little bits of potatoes and watching his
turkey neck swing back and forth..I told him that I had to be going..He
insited that he walk me to my car..I stated NO THANK YOU! and to be
more of a butt hole he wouldn't drop it, saying oh I want to make sure your
safe ,blah blah, blah so I finally told him..I will be safe I have a gun
leave me ALONE!!!
He called a few times and I had one of my good friends (who's a guy)
say he
was my brother and to not call there anymore...Thank goodness!!! No
more potato man!