Lobster Girl

When I was around 30 I was introduced to a friend-of-a-friend from work, a gal named Karen. We talked a bit, she was my age and seemed nice enough, so we made plans to get together that weekend. I lived in JP at the time and she in Lynn, so we met about halfway and spent part or the day at Nahant Beach. This, of course, is that part where people start talking about themselves -- lives and work and romance history -- and we did likewise.

She had, she told me, been in a relationship for several years and broke up with the guy because of his drinking. Okay, fine, that's not unheard-of. Then went on to tell me that she had "seriously cut down" on her own drinking, and limited herself to only six or seven screwdrivers a night instead of twelve. Okay, small alarm bells started to go off in my head but I ignored them. She also casually mentioned that she didn't sleep with a guy right away, but once she did she became completely obsessed with him. The alarm bells turned into howling air raid sirens, but I still tried to ignore them. After a bit more small talk we packed up and left the beach.

We decided to grab a bite to eat and noticed a small place in Charlestown offering a twin lobster special. We stopped there and ordered food, and while waiting she slammed down three screwdrivers. But no big deal, right? The food came and we dug in. Lobsters are weird things and only about a third of them is edible in my opinion, so I tore off the shell parts and ate what was left. Toward the end of our meal she pointed to the little side claws or legs or whatever they are and said, "You're not going to eat those? There's good meat in them!" and grabbed mine up. I'd never bothered with them thinking the little toothpick of lobster meat inside wasn't worth all the effort of picking them apart.

I pecked around at my plate a bit more, finished up the fries and corn, and then glanced over at her. She was sitting there working on the small legs alright, not picking them apart but just eating them shell and all. "Oh, these are the best part! " she told me. Crunch, crackle, crunch, gulp... I managed not to look as horrified as I felt, muttered my way through the rest of the meal and we left. I promised to call later, when I had a minute. That was 1988 and I still haven't found time to call.

A Day At The Pool

Once upon a time I was at this guy's house. We weren't officially dating, but we had started to see each other from time to time. Well, his neighborhood had a community pool, and it was a lovely summer day, so we decided to head on down there. I took off my pants, folded them up by the pool and jumped in. I started swimming laps around when I noticed him laughing uncontrollably.
"What?"
All he could respond with was laughter and wide eyes, one finger extended at my chest. Turns out I had fallen out of my new bathing suit and had been flashing all the pool patrons for a good five minutes. That embarassment, however, was nothing compared to the rest of the day.
Little kids had been running along the pool deck the whole time, and it so happened one of them kicked my jeans into the pool "by accident". Thankfully, I had brought a cover-up. So, while my jeans hung out on his deck, we laid around on his red daybed, watching TV. He eventually fell asleep, and some moments later, his younger sister (who was about 8) came down the stairs into his room in the basement. She started to say something then immediately got a shocked expression on her face, and trudged back up the stairs. I shrugged and figured she forgot what she was supposed to say, realized he was asleep, or was just being a goofy kid. No harm done. May I mention at this point that my cover-up dress matched the duvet?
His darling sister came peeking around the corner a few minutes later, yelling for my date to go speak with their mother. The sister crossed him cautiously as he sleepily stumbled up the stairs, and came over to me wringing her hands.
"Um... Katie... can I ask you a question?"
"Sure sweetheart, what is it?"
"Ermh... why are you... naked?"
leaping out of bed and a good six feet I exclaimed, "I'm not naked!" and spread my arms to reveal my red cover-up. Her hands covered her mouth in shock.
"He's gonna kill me... oh no..."
"...what did you say?"
"Oh, god, he's gonna kill me... I told my mom... I thought you guys were having," she went into a whisper, "*sex*"
I stood there in shock. I'd known this guy about a week, and I was only in eighth grade.
His little sister started to run out of the room when he came storming back in, glaring. She shrank in fear and ran off.
In a few minutes, we were called to all sit in their den and wait to have a "talk" with his mother. The following hour was spent being lectured to by his mother, who had a very thick spanish accent and a fiesty attitude to match, then being driven home in what was perhaps the most awkward car ride of my life. Needless to say, I decided not to go back.

What's Your Story?

Do you have a true, bad date story? Can we have it please? Then your story can join the ranks of such literary pearls as:
"Thankyou For Coming", "The Stain in Spain" , "If the Spew Fits" , "The Speed Date" , or my choice for most embarrassing date, "Stuck On You" . and of course the "Worst Date Ever",! C'mon, you know you want to, so just do it! ( bet you've heard that on a date before) Just send it as an e-mail at baddatesite@yahoo.com or leave it in the comments section below.

Another Meddling Mother

So I had been dating this really nice girl for quite sometime and I was madly in love with her. I had neglected to tell my parents about it because they would have freaked out and I didn't want to lose her. So one night my mom found out.
Freaked out. And set me up on a blind date... With what she referred to
as "a very nice, polite, and respectful young man" I went to our
designated meeting spot and we met up. He was a nice guy... But didn't
seem quite right... So ever few minutes his phone would vibrate and he
would look at it and then ask me a question *vibrate* so tell me about
your ex boyfriend *vibrate* ever been in love?
*vibrate* what do you do for fun...
After a while I caught on. So the next time it vibrated it I reached
over the table and grabbed the phone... My mother was sending him text
messages telling him what to ask me... But not only that... But I gave
the phone back and excused myself to the bathroom. I went walking
towards the restroom and I hear a very familiar voice. My mother is
sitting at a table in the back of the restaurant watching us!!! I was
upset... But got over it. There was never a second date... But he is
now engaged to a very nice, polite and mature BOY!